A man attempts to defend his involvement in a war.
“You know what, kid? I don’t give a damn what you think you’ve achieved or the amount of time in which you’ve achieved it. You’re young and therefore you’re about twenty years away from really knowing anything. Hell, I don’t even know jack shit now.” The man pulled hard on his pipe, letting the smoke rise in thick clouds around his head. His audience was getting bored of all the insults and holier-than-though rhetoric and he knew it.
“Look, I get it.” He began, exhaling blue smoke into the sky. “When I was your age I knew everything too. Fat lot of good it did anyone.” He sank into the hard wooden chair, settling in for the long-haul.
“It started about then, now that I think about it. The government was trying hard to push its polarising views on the public. Us and them. That’s all it was, but it riled a lot people up, me included.
“All we wanted was to be a strong nation. We thought that if we pushed these other people down hard enough we could stand quite comfortably on top of their demise and live long happy lives in prosperity. In reality though, it was just an excuse by the big guys in charge to get us in an aggressive, persuasive kind of mindset. Soon you’d just dismiss anything out of hand if it came with sentiments of ‘it’s all their fault.’ We believed it with everything in our hearts.
“Of course, when the day came to take up arms and finally beat back the oppressors and reap the rewards that we had been promised… well I don’t know a man or woman who didn’t jump at the chance.”
The man paused for a moment, quietly reminiscing about those days and the young man he once was. The crowd shifted uneasily under the reverence they all felt for him.
“It was over before it began, in all honesty. They didn’t have the army that we’d been told about, it was just small towns and villages on the edge of our territory; a couple of big cities but nothing to boast about. We came hard and we came fast. We must have wiped out twenty-five villages that first day. We left nothing. No men. No women. No children. We even slaughtered the dogs.
“Of course, at that time we just assumed it was the outskirts and the main force would be further back waiting to give us a good fight, but it never came. As the days drew on we began questioning it, but the orders came down - ‘keep moving, the main force is one day away.’ Always one day. We never saw any sign of them. No evidence of a camp, or fortifications, or anything. Just us creating a trail of devastation in our path.
“I guess you all know this already, but there was no army, there was no aggressive regime to the south. We were an extermination group, sent out by the government for no other reason than to gain ground. I guess all the propaganda was to make us more amenable to the idea and before we could question anything we had already made too much of a mark on the landscape.
The man sighed into a thunderous coughing fit. As he recovered, the wetness in his eyes and on his cheeks glistened in the morning sun.
“I knew everything then.” He said quietly.
“I knew what I was doing, and I knew that it was right.” He paused, tears rolling silently down his cheeks.
“But ultimately I was just following orders. Sure, I gave some too, but everything I did came down from on high. You can sit there and think that that is a convenient excuse, and that I am single-handedly responsible for all those people - “ he gestured to the enormous stack of papers on the table in front of him; a list of all the people he was accused of murdering “- and you know what? You’re absolutely right. I will go to my grave knowing what I did and the damage I did and those people whose lives I ended for the benefit of our government!”
His words rose to a roar, the blackness in his eyes flashed for all the assembled people to see. Rising out of his seat, he damn near shouted “Nothing you say or do today or on any day will divert me from this knowledge! I should have done something. I should have said something or stopped those under my command. But I did nothing! I followed orders and I gave orders that I expected to be followed! The blood of these people is on my hands, and I take responsibility for them. But!” He paused again “But it is not me who should pay the full price.”
The judge sat up and looked with sympathy toward the man in the stall. “You are referring to the cabinet, who we will be prosecuting in the coming weeks?”
“I do.” The man sighed.
“Any and all testimony you may give us on the subject of those accused will be considered in your sentencing, but might I remind you that the uh … pile… of offences I have before me is enough even with information regarding the accused, if you are found guilty, to hang you for crimes against humanity.”
“I am aware. As I have said, nothing that happens today will make me feel that justice has been done. Those people are still dead, even if I meet the hangman this afternoon.”
“Do you have any information regarding the cabinet or your superiors?” the judge said.
“Nothing beyond what you already know”
“Then I am forced to finish proceedings here today.” The judge gestured to his right, without looking away from the man. “The jury will retire to the ante chamber, and will notify me of their verdict. This court is adjourned until that time.”
It didn’t take them long. A confession, and a pile of dead people. The man was escorted outside that afternoon and lined up underneath the gallows. He spoke no last words and his name will not be remembered.